Ferreira Fête

13 October 2010

Somewhere in between sleeping on a urine-scented couch, driving seven hours, and attempting to eat what Burger King calls a “veggie burger” (it’s actually just a pureed latex glove with corn poop),  I had the most amazing time this weekend. The Ferreiras hosted a costume required, Tim Burton themed birthday party, which can best be described as a carnival of the macabre. There’s probably also a made-for-tv movie monologue that would do it justice. In honor of Lady Ferreira turning 30, I am cementing the most peculiar and memorable moments in time, by blogging it. Blogging is forever.

-All of the classics were represented: Edward Scissorhands, Sweeney Todd, Alice in Wonderland, Beetlejuice, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Batman Returns, and The Nightmare Before Christmas. Where, I ask, was The World of Stainboy? And just because Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter and Frankenweenie are in pre-production, no one even considered those?

-Tara and Seth were Mrs. Lovett and Sweeney Todd. They were exquisite. Meat pies and rolling pins. I was the White Queen and yes, I can get whiter. A Revlon color master chose the lipstick and nail polish I wore (thanks, Rhonda). Oscar was not in attendance, since Tim Burton does not have black characters. It would not have been true to the theme.

-The animal kingdom was not without representation. No less than 3 snorms (snake worms) from Beetlejuice, Absalom the Caterpillar, and a tenderly trimmed dinosaur bush set the mood. And a clown. Large Marge was not available to escort Pee Wee, so a clown did the job. We all know clowns aren’t people.

-By the end of the night, a group journeyed to the roof. This was promptly followed by a helmeted football player head-butting street light posts, in order to snuff them. I believe that could be used against him, in the court of law.

-One taxi taken. One couch arm broken. In my defense, that couch is old. And I do lift a mean 5 pound weight. 55 meat pies eaten, despite roaches and dead fingers. Three layers of red velvet cake devoured.

-Why were my fingertips stained purple the next morning? Pigeon poop purple.

-You can’t just show up to a party like this all willy nilly. There were reenactments. People knew their sh*t. Scenes were filmed under the direction of Seth that I daresay give Tim a run for his money. Dances were danced. Songs were sung. Remotes were controlled.

-Avon. Hookah. Live Nude Girls. Sand pit. Attic. Door that leads to nowhere. Flowers with baby faces. Handbook for the Recently Deceased. Curioser and Curioser.

-At midnight, I got clearance to disrobe and spent the rest of the evening lounging in Tara’s vintage, holey pantaloons. And yet, I still made friends.

-Tara is stunning at 30. Which is why I proposed this weekend.


One Response to “Ferreira Fête”

  1. Aimee Says:

    I want to see the pics of you ! The others are awesome by the way… which is the usual for you 😉

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